Funny Jokes: Private Member's Area

  WAIT!
Before you download your FREE 40-Page Joke Book, take a moment to read through the amazing bonus offer below.
 

(This is The Only Time You Will Ever See This Page)

Congratulations! You qualify for the All New Unadvertised "Shock and Awe" Funny Jokes Bonus Package!

This is a one-time deal and once you leave this page the offer will be gone. Don't miss out.


Special FREE Bonus #1

The Big Book of Irish Jokes.

Billy and Pa' were walking in the woods when they came across a sign saying, "Tree Fellers wanted".

Billy said, "Ye know Pa', it's a shame Paddy isn't here. We could have gotten the job".

-----   -----   -----

A man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to stop.
He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?".

The man says "Sorry - we're right out of petrol."

So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?"

And the attendant responds "Sorry, but no oil either."

The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that.

The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant, "Just what kind of petrol station is this ?"

The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front."

The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tires!"
 

This 26 page ebook contains 75 of the best Irish jokes you'll find anywhere. You'll laugh so hard you'll blow Guinness out your nose.


Special FREE Bonus #2

"The 100 Funniest Jokes Of All Time"

with input from comics and writers including David Brenner, Jim Brogan, Dick Cavett, Larry David, Al Franken, Larry Gelbart, Jon Groff, Richard Jeni, Jonathan Katz, Chris Kelly, Billy Kimball, Robert Klein, Richard Lewis, Jackie Martling, William Novak, and Gene Perret.


Special FREE Bonus #3

"The Ultimate 'Yo Mama' Collection"

Over 500 Yo Mamma jokes are crammed into this 21 page ebook...

Yo mama's so dumb, she told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.

Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

You get the idea :-)


Special FREE Bonus #4

"The Blonde Q & A Joke Collection"

Almost 200 Q & A jokes directed at one of the few minorities left we can make fun of without getting sued, arrested or beheaded... blondes.

Yes we love 'em, but we love making fun of 'em too.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: What's black and crispy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blond electrician


Special FREE Bonus #5

"The Online Joke Book Collection: A Collection Of On-Line Jokes And Stories Collected From Friends And Unknown Web Travelers" by Edward Goss

This collection includes Volumes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 of the Online Joke Book. That's over 250 pages of jokes and miscellaneous humor. If you can't find something funny in here, then you'd better check you have a pulse.


Special FREE Bonus #6

"Get Paid to Make People Laugh"
(without being a comedian or a clown)...

by John Cantu

Imagine getting paid to make people laugh... even if you can't tell a joke. It's perhaps the most fun way to earn an extra $700 to $7,000 a month ever created. And, you can do it part time -- at your convenience -- or full time. It's completely up to you. How?

Humor coach and former owner of the legendary San Francisco comedy club, the Holy City Zoo,  John Cantu was interviewed to uncover the never-before-revealed -- and fail-safe -- approaches he has used with his clients over the past 30 years.

This ebook is packed with practical, easy-to-implement, and often surprising information. For example, it makes absolutely no difference how young, old, tall, short, funny, attractive, educated or shy you may be. And, no specialized skills are required. You don't even need to be good at telling jokes.

Cantu says: "If you are able to talk to other people, you can succeed at earning money with humor!"

Best of all, Cantu shows you exactly how in this entertaining and to-the-point ebook. It is filled with ingenious, easy to use, no-fail ideas, techniques and methods... guaranteed to work for you.

I sell this book separately for $20, but for today only... it's a freebie.


Special FREE Bonus #7

 "Seven Secrets Comedy Writers and Comedians Use to Create Humor"

Every profession has its own closely guarded tips and techniques for success. And  this step by step report, reveals seven of those humor tips and techniques that professional "funny folk" use to make you laugh out loud.


Special FREE Bonus #8

"Smiling For Dollars: 24 Ways To Make Money With Humor"

There are over two dozen ways you can get paid for making people laugh without having to deliver snappy one-liners or take a pie in the face. You can write it or you can talk it. This concise report gives you that extra edge you've been looking for to make people laugh.


Special FREE Bonus #9

"The Fun Factor: 10 Ways You Can Be Happier... Right Now!"
by Clifford Kuhn

From the Introduction by comedy legend Jerry Lewis...

"You’re in for an unusual treat, a treat that is only exceeded by the treat I’m getting writing the foreword to this wonderful book by my friend, Cliff Kuhn. When I received the manuscript I couldn’t wait to read it, and read it I did, twice. And I’m proud to be a small part of what I believe is one of the best “how to” books I have ever read. The “how to” aspect comes from one of the most prolific men of medicine I have ever known. As well as being an expert about laughter and the healing power it can bring, Cliff Kuhn brings us into the broader world of humor that has been either verboten or laid back so far that no one has recognized it. It needed someone like Cliff to breathe some air into it for all to see and understand." - Jerry Lewis


The Joke Master Series

The Joke Master Series was specifically designed by professional comedian and author Steve Roye to show both the average person and professionals alike how to improve their joke telling abilities to the maximum extent possible.

Special FREE Bonus #10

"The Joke Master Series Volume 1:
Joke Selection Secrets"

In this guide you will discover the secrets for:

  • Selecting the funniest jokes to tell that you read -- even if they don't make you laugh loud
  • Joke punch line secrets nobody knows
  • Step-by-step joke selection like a pro
  • And more!

The chances are great that you could be missing the funniest jokes to tell without the joke selection secrets provided in this guide!


Special FREE Bonus #11

"The Joke Master Series Volume 2:
Delivery & Timing Secrets"

Have you ever told a joke and had the people just stare at you?  Would you like to increase the laughter response you get when you do tell a joke?

Delivery & Timing Secrets gives you all the secrets you need to tell and deliver jokes for maximum laughter impact! Such as...

  • The #1 most important aspect of joke delivery and to make it work for you
  • When to pause for virtually any joke you tell for maximum laughter response
  • Preparation techniques used by the pros
  • And more!

Special FREE Bonus #12

"The Joke Master Series Volume 3:
Top 10 Joke Telling Mistakes"

You have one shot to tell a joke, get it right and get the laughs you deserve from telling that joke.

If you can simply avoid some of the most common mistakes when you tell a joke, you will AUTOMATICALLY increase the amount of laughter you will get when you tell a joke.

Top 10 Joke Telling Mistakes details the most critical joke telling mistakes that people usually make when they tell a joke and it flops.

Your jokes won't flop if you know the mistakes to avoid!


Comedy Secrets For Speakers Series

The Comedy Secrets For Speakers Series by Steve Roye is specifically designed for speaking professionals and presenters. This series capitalizes on the foundational work in the Stand-up Comedy Fast Start Guide as it applies to speaking publicly and adding comedy, humor and jokes to speeches and presentations..

Special FREE Bonus #13

"Comedy Secrets For Speakers Volume 1:
 7 Essential Comedy Secrets"

If you are a speaker or presenter (or you want to be), the 7 Essential Comedy Secrets is a must have reference for you!


You don't have to become a professional comedian in order to knock out your audiences with laughter! As a matter of fact...

You don't have to become a great joke writer either.

This guide gives you the 7 essential secrets you must know now in order to be able to deliver a memorable and funny speech or presentation!


Special FREE Bonus #14

"Comedy Secrets For Speakers Volume 2:
 Adding Comedy To Speeches"

You can easily add original comedy and humor to any speech or presentation using the methods described in Adding Comedy To Speeches guide.

And...it's not hard at all, especially if you use some of the other guides in this package, like How To Turn Strange News Stories Into Killer Comedy Material.

This guide works in tandem with the Stand-up Comedy Fast Start Guide to really help you add laughter power to your speeches and presentations!


Special FREE Bonus #15

"Comedy Secrets For Speakers Volume 3:
 Delivery & Presentation Secrets"

The Delivery & Presentation Secrets guide is
chock full of methods and techniques that will show you:
 

  • Presentation and delivery styles, along with advantages and disadvantages of each
  • How to develop timeless comedy and humor
  • How to make your audience feel "superior"
  • Advantages you have over comedians when it comes to getting laughs
  • And more!

There is one secret in this guide that you absolutely don't want to miss when it comes to delivering any speech or presentation for big laughs!


Special FREE Bonus #16

"Comedy Secrets For Speakers Volume 4:
 Transition Line Secrets"

I love this little gem...
If you have ever wanted to tell a street joke during a speech or presentation but didn't know how, you have got to get your hands on Transition Line Secrets.

This guide will show you step-by-step how to use transition lines to set yourself up to tell ANY appropriate joke during virtually ANY speech or presentation!

Used in conjunction with Anytime Anywhere Jokes and the Street Jokes Secrets guide, you can easily transform your speech or presentation into a super fun event!


Special FREE Bonus #17

"Stand-up Comedy Myths Shattered!"

Are you funny enough to be a stand-up comedian? If so, don't make a move until you have read 5 Stand-up Comedy Myths Shattered!

You will quickly discover that many of the perceptions that most people have about stand-up comedy are wrong -- dead wrong!

If you are a funny person in everyday life and want to try your hand at stand-up comedy, this ebook can keep you from wasting tons of time on myths and perceptions that are simply not true and can keep you from realizing your full comedy potential!

For today only...

... you can get all 17 Free Bonuses:

  1. The Big Book of Irish Jokes
  2. The 100 Funniest Jokes Of All Time
  3. The Ultimate 'Yo Mama' Collection
  4. The Blonde Q & A Joke Collection
  5. The Six volume Online Joke Book Collection
  6. Get Paid to Make People Laugh
  7. Seven Secrets of Comedy Writers and Comedians
  8. Smiling For Dollars: 24 Ways To Make Money With Humor
  9. The Fun Factor: 10 Ways You Can Be Happier... Right Now!
  10. Joke Selection Secrets
  11. Delivery & Timing Secrets
  12. Top 10 Joke Telling Mistakes
  13. 7 Essential Comedy Secrets
  14. Adding Comedy To Speeches
  15. Delivery & Presentation Secrets
  16. Transition Line Secrets
  17. Stand-up Comedy Myths Shattered

...When you order a copy of my best selling ebook:
"That's Comedy! Joke Book"


It's 340 pages of sidesplitting, pants-wetting humor for less than $20

Don't just take my word for it. Read these unsolicited comments from happy customers...

Hey Dean,
The joke book is the greatest! I think everyone should fork over the few dollars and enjoy some of the best laughter of their lives. Hey people, this thing will make your day! Keep up the good work, Dean.
-- Stan Bush Baton Rouge, LA

 

Too often you read a joke book that has good jokes, bad jokes, and HORRIBLE jokes. Dean, your book is one of those rarities in which, like an album by a band where EVERY song is good, the whole joke book rocks!
I'm a cheap bastard, but I truly believe I got my money's worth with your book. It's added a HUGE amount of ammunition to my joke arsenal when I'm hanging out with people... I'm damn sure gonna buy Volume 2 if it every comes out. Thanks Dean. You rock.
-- Matt Fort Hood, Texas

 

I purchased your e-book and it has me rolling on the floor! My co-workers are calling in the guys with the white coats! Great laughs, you should be ashamed for making a grown man pee his pants! (Let me know when vol 2 comes out!)
-- Gary Kassner Portland, OR

 

Dear Dean, I thought I'd seen it all. I've been around the joke-block more then once, maybe even more then twice so it came as quite a surprise that you've gathered together lots of jokes here I've never seen! Thanks,
-- Joyce B

 

gidday cobber digger blue (thats hello in Aussie) Dean mate, I just want you to know how much I am enjoying your E-joke book. I got it a few weeks ago and read a few pages a night (ah sod it, I got greedy and have now finished it) The beauty of it is that I can read it any time I want. Then I can go to work and impress the hell out of everyone with my (okay, YOUR!) jokes.
Cheers mate It was well worth the money
-- Larry from Western Australia

 

Click Here To Read More Testimonials

 Plus...

act today and you'll also get two more free bonuses:


Special FREE Bonus #18

"101 Practical Jokes"
You'll be able to 'Punk' your friends after reading this outrageous collection of practical jokes, dirty tricks and goofy stunts.


Special FREE Bonus #19

"Gag Gift Recipes"
From "Snowman Poop" to "The Hillbilly Flashlight" and everything in between - you'll find a ton of fun ideas for gag gifts to make for your friends (and enemies)


I haven't counted exactly, but there are hundreds and hundreds of pages and thousands of jokes in this special package for just a single payment of under $20

But Wait...

... since you've read this far, I'm going to throw in one more  bonus to truly make this offer Super Special

Special FREE Bonus  #20

"The Best of Late Night TV Jokes"

All the best monologue  jokes from TV's Late Night kings of comedy - updated daily. You get the latest jokes from Leno, Letterman, O'Brien, Ferguson, Kimmel & Fallon... WITHOUT having to stay up late.

Some typical jokes include:

Leno:

  • It looks like more than 13,000 people were caught up in the Bernard Madoff Ponzi scheme. A Ponzi scheme is where you throw good money after bad . . . or as the government calls it — a stimulus package.
     
  • The population of the United States is now at 300 million. You can tell who the new people are too, they're the ones that aren't fat yet!
     

Letterman:

  • Michelle Obama is making a garden at the White House. While she was out digging, she found three of Dick Cheney’s hunting buddies
     
  • How about that Octo-Mom? She was cleaning behind the couch today and found two more kids.
     

Conan:

  • Earlier today, the world’s top economic advisors gathered at a luxury ski resort in Switzerland to find a solution to the global financial crisis. So far the best idea is to stop traveling to luxury ski resorts in Switzerland.
     
  • Another medical study has found that clowns in an operating room are beneficial to recovery of young patients. The reason is that kids think, "Wow, at least I’m not him.”

But Don't Just Listen to Me...

...Listen To What Other's Have To Say...
(you may need to click the Play button twice)

Randy Pryor, Orange County, CA

Jason, London, England

Carol Hill, Independence, MO

Alan Stevens, Atlanta, Georgia

James Johnson, British Columbia, Canada

To order my 340 page Joke Book for Just $19.97 and receive
this massive bonus collection for free,  you need to click
on this special order button right now.

Delivery is entirely via the internet at ZERO cost.
Since the ebooks* are electronically downloaded, rather than physically shipped, there will be NO DELAY in your receiving access and no shipping charges to pay. Your copy of That's Comedy! Joke Book  and all the bonus ebooks can be downloaded immediately

*An ebook is an electronic book (pdf) which you can immediately read on your computer. No waiting for anything to be shipped to you. You can adjust the type size to make it as pleasant to read as possible. You can also print a copy from your own computer.

Have a great day.

Dean


No Thanks, I'm passing up my only chance at this Funny Jokes bonus comedy collection
Just take me to the free 40 page joke book

Copyright 2011 Horizon Enterprises
PO Box 25, Kincardine,
Ontario, CA